(Advertisement she put in the paper) “Unemployed And Bitter: Sarcastic ex-sorority girl seeks high-paying job in idiot-free environment. And I knew at that moment if I married her, life would never be boring.”ĥ.“There’s almost nothing sweetened apples and frosty pie crust can’t make better.”Ħ. (She quotes Fletch her awesome husband on how he knew she was The One) “Suddenly, I understood that the sophisticated girl in the restaurant was an act, and the real Jen was in front of me, wearing a garbage can on her head. Life with two shelter dogs: Fucking priceless.Ĥ. “Cost to clean deeply soiled rugs: $200Ĭost to replace shiny, black, stack-heeled, pilgrim-toed boots: $185Ĭost to fix every single delicious table and chair leg in the house: $490 What I’m askin’ is do you have any job listings that don’t suck?”Ģ.“…Never, ever carry a Prada bag to the unemployment office.”ģ. (At the unemployment office) “With my most winning Miss America-style grin, I reply, “What I’m sayin’ is I’m completely overqualified for every position I’ve come across so far. Do you think this will put me over that stalking line?)ġ.
(I’m still expecting that restraining order.
Rather than do a review (which is WAY too much like a book report for my taste) I’m putting up some of my favorite quotes from her books.
Bitter Is The New Black and Bright Lights, Big Ass are two of my new favorites.
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